im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
