Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
