he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
