i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
