i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
