It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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