i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
