listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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