i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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