have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
