OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
