I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
