does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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