Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
