I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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