I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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