So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
