After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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