My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you didnt know i had herpes?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
two words...techno handjob
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Randomize
