I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
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