So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
