I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
