Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so let's talk penis.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
