dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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