Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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