it wasn't lemon gatorade
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
