Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
