In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
