I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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