Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Randomize
