I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
