Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My balls are so social today.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
