You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
