I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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