He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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