So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Buhtt sex?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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