also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
vagina is talking i cant
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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