It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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