I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
