the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
