I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
we're making bets on your personal life
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
