I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
