I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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