I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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