We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
