before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
