She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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