She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
