Buhtt sex?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
