the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
