JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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