You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
