we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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